No Pachyderms and No Palace

Luckily, before we left Fort Kochi, some very nice people washed our clothing for us. So after the houseboat, we were in a supremely relaxed and prepared state for our next part of the trip.


So we were gone for a month, which is a pretty long time to be out of one's own country, if you are not going someplace else to stay. And we had a fabulous time for about 75% of the trip--other than the getting Very Sick part, and the other part that I am about to tell you.




We rode the bus to Calicut, another city in Kerala. It's also another city which has had a name change, and is now Also Known As Kozhikode. We stayed in Calicut (at the Beach Hotel) for one night only, because there is really nothing to do there at all, and we wanted to break up the long journey between Fort Kochi and Wayanad Wildlife Sanctuary, our final destination.





The only fun thing about the Beach Hotel was the fact that it was our first full-service hotel since arriving in India. It allowed us to do things that were really mundane, but really necessary to revive our tired American souls.

So we ordered American food from room service, sat around in our underwear with the air conditioning on, and watched a 4-hour Looney Tunes marathon while drinking nice cold beer.

Then later, Breck took a bath in our Very Nice Bathroom.

A few words on American Food in India. If you order food in a restaurant, looking for comfort food that's something like food at home, expect the unexpected. They will try to make what they perceive American Food to be, not what it traditionally is.

For example, I ordered a turkey club sandwich from room service, that was made with un-toasted white bread, no mayo, turkey, and a slice of tomato. A little thin, but a decent sandwich.

Another example was a Caesar salad that had no anchovies, no croutons, no parmesan, and no Caesar dressing. But it was a fine, simple salad. One last example is the tomato soup.

We were advised by Beth to order the tomato soup in several different restaurants. It never tasted like plain old Campbell's tomato soup. Sometimes sweet, sometimes savory, always really different and you could never guess how it would be--but it was always really tasty.

We also went to our first Indian bar upon arriving at the hotel, where they served beer, Bacardi rum, Beefeater gin, and Royal Challenge whiskey (you also don't see women in bars in India, so the guys there looked at me a little odd for a moment). We hadn't had any whiskey since we left Chennai, so we opted to try the Royal Challenge (against Beth's explicit instructions NOT to drink the Royal Challenge).

Royal Challenge is absolutely as its name says it is. It smells faintly of fish. It's harsh going down your throat. It gives a little warmth to the belly, but then after any more than one drink, your stomach begins to feel Not So Nice. More about Royal Challenge later.

After a nice sleep, we took another shorter bus ride and then a jeep to Tholpetty, which is right outside of Wayanad Wildlife Sanctuary--all of this took a little less than half a day.

We were told in Fort Kochi by the agent who helped us book our stay in Tholpetty that the hotel would be wonderful, and we would see a ton of wildlife.

LIES, LIES, ALL LIES!!!

This is a view from the top floor of Pachyderm Palace, the hotel where we stayed. Here, you can see one of the few nice things about the place--the view. The hotel had 4 rooms and a tree house--enough for about 10 people maximum. The rooms in the hotel seemed plain and clean, which was fine. I was disappointed that we couldn't stay in the tree house, because it was beautiful and cozy with plenty of sunlight, and it was slightly removed from the main hotel, elevated on its own tall foundation.

On the first evening we were there, there were some really nice guests at the hotel. Three people from England, a man from Norway, and a couple from the Netherlands. We ate all of our meals together, everything cooked by the hotel manager.

The hotel was on the grounds of a coffee plantation, and the farmer was the one who managed the hotel. After a while, I began to get the idea that he had agreed to a deal that was not exactly in his best interest, because he didn't own the hotel, he just ran it. And every chance he got, he would hover by the table while we ate and complain about how things were going for him as the hotel manager, and the problems between himself and the owner.

I wish I could tell you exactly what he complained about, but his accent was incredibly thick, and his English terrible, so one could get the gist of what he was complaining about, but couldn't really understand what he said. But he would go On and On, keeping you prisoner while you tried to have a nice meal.

He did all of the cooking, which was pretty delicious, so at least that was good.

There was also some problem with the plumbing and the water-warming deivce. A number of the places we stayed in had bathrooms that were like one big shower room (a room with a toilet, sink, mirror, and then a shower head on the wall and a drain in the middle of the floor).

This setup worked perfectly fine in every other place, because the water would drain out and the floor would dry pretty quickly after a shower, and then sometimes the maid would come in and give the floor an extra cleaning to boot. Most of the showers we encountered would automatically run cold water unless you turned on the electric water warmer (which warmed the water in the pipes somehow), waited 20 minutes, and then turned on the water.

At Pachyderm Palace, however, things worked very differently.

You could turn on the water warmer and wait an hour, but the water was always ice cold. This would not have been too bad in most of the other places we visited, but Tholpetty was at a much higher elevation, and was not as hot or humid for the most part. So a hot or at least warm-ish shower would have been very welcome--if it were available.

When I finally did take a cold shower, I found that the drain in the floor was extremely slow, and because it was cooler there, the water did not evaporate quickly at all. So, after taking a shower, you were forced to walk in filth every time you went into the bathroom (a nice mixture of soap scum, shampoo/conditioner, water, and dead skin cells). This also made the bathroom tile wonderfully slippery--especially nice in the middle of the night when you took a groggy trip to the loo.

The food that the manager cooked was pretty darn good, even if you did have to listen to his incessant complaints while you ate. And he brought us beer, which helped our mood somewhat.

Do you see tiger tracks?

I don't know about you, but all I see are TIRE tracks. We were taken out in a jeep every day at dawn and dusk, and driven around Wayanad in hopes to see some really great wildlife.


Here is a wild boar.

This is about the closest we came to any wildlife at Wayanad. Yes, I know their website boasts of plenty of animals, and of course the guy who booked our trip promised, PROMISED that we would see elephants. But there were no elephants. And there were no tigers.

Here is a deer (I promise you, it really is a deer).

For those of you who have never spent much time on the East Coast of our great country, I will tell you that this region is LOUSY with deer. You can't peek out of a sliding glass door or drive your Chevy Suburban around a Cul-de-Sac without seeing deer crossing the road or grazing about your lawn. They are extremely plentiful around here.

Every time we saw one in the Sanctuary (and we saw quite a few), the driver would stop the jeep, and we would have to sit there and watch it eat, or stare at us until it decided to walk off into the forest.

Not that I don't like deer. But, well, when you're ready for elephants, a deer just won't do.

Here is a photo of a snakeskin, freshly shed from the snake, with Breck's shoe for size verification.

This is all very exciting, no?

To be perfectly honest, we actually did see one young elephant on the first night that we were at Pachyderm Palace, on a late jeep safari outside of the Preserve. He was right next to the road, eating bushes.

I would like to show you a picture of him, but because we were asked not to use flash photography at any time while in and around the park (because it has been proven to cause elephants to charge).

So, as much as I would like to show you a photo of the nice young elephant we saw, no flash means no possible way to see the subject of a picture taken after dark.

Breck went on about six safaris, and I went on about three. I was just not as hopeful as he was. And we saw NO MORE ELEPHANTS. Not one.



We did get to see some lovely patches of forest in the Preserve, though.

The longer we went without seeing an elephant, the more often the jeep drivers would make us sit and look at every single deer we saw, for a long time.

As a result, I was not shy about being a bit fed up with the whole experience, and elected to spend the time they took everyone else on safari to read and catch up on sleep.

In addition to the other little annoyances we had at the Palace, a whole new crop of people showed up after the nice first group left. There were two German couples, and a couple from San Francisco around our age. The two German couples were not travelling together, but they each had a very "winter-spring" romance thing going on, one with an older man/younger woman, and the opposite with the other couple.

The German couple only really spoke to each other, and the couple from San Francisco was, well, really annoying in this way that I couldn't exactly put my finger on, but this fact did not make them any less annoying.

And we still had to have every meal with these people, plus share the safari jeep, plus continue to wander around in our own filth in the bathroom from morning until night.

When the final day came and we were ready to leave, we could not have been more done with the place.

I wrote to the good people who create the Lonely Planet guidebooks about our time there, so that hopefully fewer tourists will be waylaid at the Palace in the future.

The Ring

Look at the nice thing that followed us back from Chennai. It doesn't eat much and is very well behaved.

This is a symbol that one day very soon--on a date to be determined--Breck and I will no longer be living in sin. And then someday we will have some little people of our own.


OOOOOOH!!!


AAAAAAH!!!

OHHHHHH!!!

The story we got about it from the shop where we found it (it's an antique) is that it and some other jewelry like it was made for a Raj era family that had a bunch of oil money. And then I guess sometime later they lost their millions and had to sell off their posessions (including my lovely trinket), or something else Very Romantic like that.

houseboatshouseboathouseboat!

After just one night in Ft. Kochi, we left in a car for Alleppey, a town almost 2 hours west. We were to set sail on a houseboat from Evergreen Tours, the company that Beth and Chris had used before. Beth very kindly set up a wonderful trip for us (and got us a great discount), so were were a very happy couple of people indeed.

Here is a view of our temporary, floating home-away-from-home-away-from-home.

We were assigned to "Golden Valley"; what a nice name for a boat.



We spent the majority of our time sitting in those two chairs, or lying on that mattress at the helm of the ship.

The boat came with these two serious looking fellows--the captain and the cook (the one with the dark hair)--and a pleasant young Gilligan. These two have a "What the heck are you doing?" look on their faces, becase I very slyly took a photo of them without warning them first--they wanted me to concentrate my picture taking on things that were not them.

We still think that we got the best boat ever, with the best crew ever, but as we were sailing, we realized that our vessel was probably one of the original models built when the whole backwater thing took off.

The one you see above has actual windowpanes and a much grander sitting area at the front of the boat.


This other one looks like it has some sort of special sunroof thing going on, and possibly three bedrooms. We even saw boats that were double-decker, with a bar, television/audio system, and air conditioning (?!?).

Honey, can you turn the CD player up, all of this nature is just too LOUD....







So we started out.



The second we got on the boat, they gave us lovely garlands of jasmine--Breck tied mine in my hair.







And we got this table of delicious fruit.


I can honestly say that I have never eaten such delicious oranges as I did on this boat.


I now know what the phrase "flavor explosion" is supposed to mean (but never does when some company is trying to sell you soft drinks or candy or some other sugary junk.



We were to float at a very gentle pace through the Kerala Backwater network, which we did, thanks to our able captain. Every so often, he would try to point out something that he wanted us to see, but it became quickly apparant that he only knew about 15 words of English, like "flower", "church", "house", and other things that one might see floating down a river past a bunch of villages.

So between his very simple phrases (in a heavy accent), and the little bit of information that we had picked up about South Indian culture and customs, we all did pretty well together.

The cook was usually busy in the back of the boat, and kept the First Mate hopping too. I went back there only once or twice, just to peek at the arrangement. It wasn't even really a kitchen; just a tiny square of space (maybe about 2' x 2') at the very tip of the boat, with a seriously caving linoleum floor, a couple of hot plates and a tiny counter space.


But from that, he whipped up some of THE BEST FOOD I HAVE EVER EATEN. He was great! And just as fussy as any chef I have met in NYC. He would rush quickly from the back of the boat to the front, checking on us. Did we need tea? Coconut water? More rice? Was there enough food for lunch? Did we want fish or chicken for dinner?

Do you see all of that food? We were given that amount for 3 meals a day. At each meal, there was enough food for 2 sittings. Keralan cuisine is very different than most Indian food I have had in restaurants in the States. There were at least 3 different vegetables with each meal, plus fish or chicken and rice. The nothing was in any heavy sauce. It was all very fresh, the vegetables lightly spiced and cooked just until crispy. The fish and chicken were cooked in very much the same way. But the seasonings were completely different than anything we had tried before then--amazing.

These guys were very excited when they saw us coming, and they hitched their boats to the back of ours so that they could troll for fish.

They sold us some of the fish they had caught for our dinner that night.




...and here one of the fish on my plate, with some other delicious side dishes.


Boy, was it yummy!


In between all of this hospitality, the cook and the captain would fuss at each other--about what, I couldn't say. It seemed that they knew each other pretty well (especially after we stopped by the cook's house and got to see the captain holding and playing with the cook's baby--it was obvious that they were pretty well acquainted), and go back and forth in Malaialam--an even faster language than Tamil.

From their tone, they struck me a little like an old married couple. The cook might have been saying, "where are you going? Are you sure you know what you're doing? I don't recognize this place." To which the captain might have responded, "who's the captain here? I'm doing the driving; I know where I'm going. You get back there and stick to the cooking--stop telling me what to do!"


Of course I'm making all of that up, but that's what it sounded like to me.


And then, every once in a while, the captain would pull a string next to his seat, which would ring a little bell in the back of the boat, causing the First Mate to come tramping up to the front, to help with this or that. The First Mate seemed like he spoke absolutely no English, but he certainly was a very pleasant fellow.

Over the next two days, (the cook's English was about as good as Rajendran's) we ascertained that he had a wife and a baby girl (who we actually got to meet at one of the stops we made--if it was an arranged marriage, he certainly hit the jackpot. She was gorgeous, and the toddler was completely adorable). He had been a cook for about 14 years in Chennai's biggest hospital, but now he split his time between the booming backwater tour business, and being a autorickshaw driver in the off season--when it's too hot in the summer and fall months.

So Breck and I had a lot of fun relaxing, looking at all of the beautiful things that floated by, and trying to figure out what the heck was going on between those three on the boat.

It was very peaceful. There was very little noise of civilization going on around us. Just the mooing of cows being bathed in the river, the slapping of laundry as women washed their family's clothes on rocks by the riverside, and once and a while we would see groups of children going to or from school, and they would wave and call to us.

At some point in time, kids in South India learned to ask foreigners for "One pen! One pen!" I'm not sure if they figure it's better than begging for rupees, or if they need them for school, or if they think tourists are more prone to give away pens. But even if they were on the shore, 30 feet away from our floating boat, the call always came for "One pen! One pen!"

Needless to say, we did not risk putting their little eyes out by hurling pens from the bough of our boat. But we did always wave hello.





We had an amazing trip on our little boat, and we were very sad to disembark when it all came to an end.


But then, there's so much more that we have to tell you about India....

Temples We Saw Along the Way

Kailasanathar Temple








a Nandi from the Front


...and Nandi's Profile. He's Shiva's vahana.














Empty temple pond (temple is currently being renovated).


When they are full, only Hindus are allowed to take purification baths in them.
























Sri Varadaraja Perumal Temple


"Nooru Kaal Mandapam" (100 pillared hall), constructed out of only one piece of stone!!!






This temple's deity, called "Atthigiri Varadar" (brought out only once every 40 years, for 48 hours) is kept at the bottom of the temple pond








I have no information or links on what this towering thing is--but it sure is beautiful....









Kamakshi Amman Temple











Throngs of ladies in red, waiting to enter the temple.




Here are the elephants who were on their break, and not allowed (by union rules) to do any bonking.

Fancy-schmansy!

Fort Kochi--the Tour

Ft. Cochin is a funny little place. It sort of reminded me of Martha's Vineyard in a strange way, with its small winding streets and pretty little houses. Because Ft. Cochin is so small, there is really no need to drive anywhere, a fact we only realized after about 40 minutes of driving in circles with Johnson.
But, to be polite, we stuck with him for about another 90 minutes, because we hated to be killjoys. Johnson was chatty, VERY CHATTY, and wanted to keep a conversation going for the entire trip, which was much more than we could handle in our overtired states. But we wanted to give him a break, because he was so kind, and so exuberant in his driving and guiding.



He took us to the Kochi harbor, where we saw these amazing fishing nets that have been operating in the same way since the time of Kublai Khan.




We also saw this sad little guy that one of the fisherman had just caught.

His eyes follow you in every direction....


This is a small beach near Ft. Kochi. We didn't see anyone there except for fishermen. Actually, unless you are a long-time resident of India (and most times, even then), it's not safe to swim in the water (except in Goa). Many people don't have access to any type of plumbing on a regular basis, so the oceans and rivers are freely used to wash people, animals, and clothing, and as a toilet.

Johnson took us to visit some acquaintances of his who own an elephant. From what I could understand, the elephant helped the man in his work, clearing logs and other such things that required elephant-sized brawn. Every time I saw an elephant in some type of captivity, I tried not to think about it too hard. Does he look sad to you?





American garbage trucks should be this beautiful--I am ready to suggest some legislation about this.







And this is a very nice looking church










This particular Jesus lives outside of an elementary school in Ft. Kochi, with an umbrella at his disposal for sun and rain








So, we saw a lot from Johnson's rickshaw--you've seen almost everything we did before we paid Johnson his money and bid him an early goodbye. He looked very disappointed, and we felt kind of guilty for ditching him. But he was too much energy for us, in our zombie-like conditions. And we had been looking forward to walking, after all that riding around Chennai. We did have some great walks in Ft. Kochi, and I'm sure that Johnson is somewhere right now, laughing and driving people in circles, all around that town.